Sunday, 8 December 2013

Once Again..!!

So you are here, but tell me where have you been? Are you happy without me? Tell me who is taking care of you in my absence?

Hey listen! Stop, you are not supposed to divert me with your innocent eyes. Tell me who is taking care of you since I am not there with you from so long?

Are you happy with your new friends? Don’t you miss me? Will you utter something? Speak out!

No stay there, don’t come closer to me.I am not gonna hug you and don’t ask for apology too! I am not supposed to behave like a fairer God every time.

I will never forgive you. Can you hear me??Why didn’t you give me a hint? :-( I was just throwing my questions one after another without giving him chance to speak. He was there, doing nothing but listening to me like an obedient servant as he always did. I was upset but at the same time so happy to see him that he just came back into my life. My heart felt like it was pounding right out of my chest. He was so close to me but yet I couldn’t feel his breath so I reach my hands out to put them on his head to feel his touch. Yes! I felt it, right from the hair on my head to my toes. And then I once again asked him- Shona is he loves you more than me? He did nothing but licked the tears off my face.

I guess then I woke up and realized that it was  mere a dream but it was not the first time when he came into my dreams as I am having conversations like this with him from last two and half years .Various forums on Google say that I  miss him so much. Undoubtedly! And why not? 
He was the only one in my life who had ever given me chance to speak out my heart. He was the only living being on this earth who had ever tolerated my tantrums which not even my parents do. He loved me unconditionally and used to forgive my occasional bad moods without any question. He never doubted my love and so never ever asked for any explanations. He was genius in interpreting my silence and so never misjudged me as most of the people usually do. He never left me just because I had an argument with him as his heart was so convinced that I honestly loved him and that’s enough for him! For him I was everything. I still remember how he used to sit with me when I had the chicken pox, even when no one else would come near me. But for hours he sat patiently, clicked his mouth together and sniffed the bottom of his paws. In my fever induced bafflement I used to shout on him and wonder how could he stand just sitting with miserable me,why didnt he have anything else to do?He didn’t mind just laying with his sick friend as there were no time limits for him.I think I should stop here as because its really not easy for me to explain the immense sadness that I feel and tears every time I think about Goofy. But as writing has always been a therapy for me so I am trying to heal myself to some extent.

This life is nothing but an act of letting go, what hurt you the most is when God doesn't give you a chance to say your goodbye.